All right, here goes…I got the final confirmation just a little while ago after some preliminary reports earlier today. Many of you have been so sweet asking how things went today and letting us know that you were praying for and thinking of us and I just had to share the wonderful news!
I had left to go on a walk to clear my head, enjoy some of the beautiful weather after a very long day and just get away from “it” for awhile. I was hoping to get a call back from the high dose doctor to confirm what we were all hoping to be true, but realized that it was getting late and had accepted that I may have to wait until tomorrow to hear…and then I got the call and he uttered the sweetest words I have ever heard…COMPLETE REMISSION. After reviewing the scan, he confirmed that the results were “the best possible outcome we could have hoped for” and was “exactly what we needed to see to move forward”. As I hung up the phone with him, I just stood there for about 10 seconds and then started jumping up and down in the middle of the street and then literally fell to my knees and the tears just started to come. They were beautiful tears of relief, joy, gratitude and praise. I hadn’t realized I was holding my breath until I exhaled and it seemed to keep coming from somewhere deep inside. I realized that it was the first time in months that I had been truly able to “let go” and not feel as if I was walking along the edge of something afraid I was going to fall off with any missed step. I can’t quite explain the feeling, but I can tell you this…if I won the lottery tomorrow, it would be as if someone tossed me a nickel in comparison.
As my heart started to catch up with my brain, it dawned on me that at this moment I am officially cancer-free! Even though I had made peace with the little guys, I had very nicely asked them to please evacuate the premises and take their posse with them. Looks like they listened. Actually, it speaks more to the amazing power of prayer warriors and the unbelievable grace that God has showered us with.
So we are full steam ahead and I will begin gearing up for the first high dose/stem cell rescue aiming for the week of Sept 22 and I will begin the work up in a week or so. I’ve never been so thrilled let someone kick my butt! Anyways, I am pooped after a very long but glorious day. There are no words of thanks for all of your love, support and prayers, but my hope is that you will all know the depth of my gratitude and that it will be returned to you many times over. We still have some big hurdles to jump but I will savor this sweet victory and continue this journey with an even brighter simile knowing that my load is much lighter and brighter now.
With so much love,